Idyllic Tuesday...

Ahh, let see, I woke up at 12pm, went to work at 2, just in time for a cheap lunch and slacked the rest of the day off at work.

I woke up in the morning to a rather nasty call from the traffic police telling me to report to them on Thursday at 2 regarding the motorbike accident (sigh) I might loose my license.. NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

My physical stamina is in the pits, having jogged only 6 laps, I started walking on the 5th, which is hardly a 2.4km run. Maybe I should jog at Kallang stadium more often where all those scary female netballers would chase me round the track.. you don't want to start walking in the middle of a run with them behind you - so embarassing!

Anyway, I picked up my darling from Bugis, and gave her the indian food treatment..which she surprisingly enjoyed...save for the spicy chick peas..hehe

For those of you who don't know where THIS PLACE is:


Check This out:


Oh, we were bored -grin-


Yeash we wereee, yesh we were


Darling rides a horse -winks-

This post is LONG overdue...

"Introducing OSIM iGallop, the revolutionary horse-riding exercise that will give you the shapely figure you want, effortlessly and lets you have fun doing it!

Features:
Adopt a striking posture
By replicating the rhythmic movements of horse-riding, OSIM iGallop causes reciprocal pelvic movements in the rider. This forces the rider to adopt an upright posture to stay balanced.

Good sense of balance
The multi-directional movements of the saddle require precise activation of muscles in the rider in order to respond and stay upright. This encourages a keener sense of balance and muscular co-ordination.

Looking great and feeling even better
Your whole body gets involved even as you move with the galloping rhythm of the iGallop. Muscles are worked and blood circulation improved, promoting the well-being of the whole body."

Wow.....Exercise and "have fun" at the same time! =)

Wow...guess what folks? Singapore is a open society now. Crazy horse carabet show started it all. Next, SEXPO. Now, OSIM iGALLOP.

Has anyone seen the television ad for Igallop? There's like a dozen caucasian women with cowboy hats getting it on with the iGallop.

Go to any store that has these machines on display for people to try. Just watch these people uh...RIDING the machine....you'll be in for a terribly DISTURBING sight....

I passed by the promotional venue at Century Square, and there was this guy getting it on at the speed of light with this thing. There were also a bunch of small kids riding this thing.

Oh...and if text doesn't do this whole thing justice, scroll down.....

The Osim iGallop


The Sybian Machine - Designed for a womans mastubatory pleasure (basically a really expensive vibrator)


This is how we do it!!!!!


Now, take a look back again at the Osim iGallop, this time with it in action


I think i've said enough -shivers-

Nikolaiski Getz INJURED

Friday, the last day of work for me and Kitty, where I get a whole week's holiday!

I set off, got my car cleaned and polished for a nice friday night date, got her lovely roses from the stupidly crowded far east flora, lovely limited edition glass vase, and got her from Lot1 (or is it Lot 10? I keep mixing it up with the KL one)

I booked memmoirs of a geisha for 9:45pm and we were sort of running late....so I attempted to overtake two idiotic cyclists who were "racing" and swerving around the road and a slow moving cab along Jalan Teck Whye.

AND THEN.......



I overtook on the oncoming lane which makes the entire affair my fault. The motorcyclist was alright, with bleeding from cuts and bruises, but his bike was wrecked..he left his god damn lights off..I can't believe I didn't see him coming.

Now I'm stuck in hospital from a rib cage fracture till Wednesday..Not to mention I don't have my car till next Tuesday.

There is so much that I need to do that I have not done, and my week holiday is already gone...the only time I get to spend resting and with Kitty

I can't believe this happened...I've never got into any accident relating to any kind of injury on the road for 5 WHOLE YEARS. Maybe there is a first time for everything, maybe my 4 years of racing experience both on and off the road (legaly and illegaly) led me to being overconfident and cocky. There are so many maybes. This is so sickening.

No car, no work done, no progress, nothing...Stupid CNY holiday - Everyone's probably too busy clubbing or enjoying their holidays to answer my phone calls..no open smash repair shops, and so on....so to the two guys and my girlfriend (well you try hard..hehe) who took the time off to actually come all the way down to visit me, I am eternally grateful. You guys have no idea how much it means to me :) Darren and Charleen as well for driving down to help me tape the injured windscreen. I will die without your help lah bro. Thank you.

ps. If anyone has spare bumpers/bonnets/lights/so on...please donate

A depressed and miserable nikolaiski......I have to get out of this rut soon

Sunday Cruddy Sunday

Of all the laziest of lazy Sundays, this has to be the laziest.

I have nothing productive to claim for the day except for the usual onslaught of push/pull/sit ups done ritual-ly post slumber...and well, half washing my car before it started to rain again -groan-

I've begun to value these free days as life has been horribly busy for me these days. Weekdays usually comprise of working at the Magazine till 6pm. That musical life of mine takes place till 8 or 9 plus, be it teaching the piano/voice or rehearsing, afterwhich I see the missus prior to going home which is about 12-1am. 6 hours of sleep ensues.....

3am - I miss Kitty and (in?) my bed..I'm going to ZZZ now.

While shopping...

Conversations you should never have with your kid while in public:

Daddy and 5 year old kid in the Armani Xchange changing room at Takashimaya while I was trying on a top -


Daddy: Boy ah, come into this changing room with Daddy ok?

Kid: But why?

Daddy: Come come, we do it together

Kid: Why must do together?

Daddy: Faster boy, come we do together k?

Kid: But why?

Daddy: You love Daddy or not?

Kid: meekly says: "yaahh"

Daddy: Ok so come we do it together lah

----------

At this point which I exclaimed aloud to Kitty in the cubicle next to mine "Do you know why I'm laughing so hard?"

----------

Last night was also a barrel of laughs where running into your best friend at the wrongest of times was concerned.

We were making our way to umm, a nice quiet and secluded place, one of those private car parks that are really dark (don't ask me why...we are completely and entirely innocent people)

There was this nice dark spot that was taken up by a Suzuki Swift, and feeling disappointed, we went scouting around for other places, which were also, well..TAKEN UP -groan-

I decided to go back to spot A to chase the Suzuki away - when we saw the car leaving. BINGO, or so I thought. The minute I went into that very same car park, I saw a van - black van. Black van. Black van with round yellow foglights. At which that point it hit me "WHAT IS DARREN DOING HERE???" So I leapt out of the car laughing at him...STUPID DARREN! YOU TOOK OUR SPOT!!!! -GRRRRRRRRRR-

OK now that I got that out of my system, I died (yeah - DIED) my hair a blacker shade of brown and did white highlights, well, closer to white. Kitty's birthday was last week and I kept the poor girl waiting..sorry :'(

-------------------
A Happy girl and her ice cream cake:


New hair..you like? -grin-

Dedicated to friendster-ishes

THERE....she said it...I said it...friendster has been getting from bad to worse and it was about time someone came out with these bitchings and unwritten "rules". Enjoy..heh

1. To the people who does have more than 500 friend's, are you serious? Nobody in this universe has that many friends...you're stupid. Go kill yourself.

2. If you're ugly stop acting like you don't know it.The captions under you picture that says "top model pose" doesn't convince anybody. At least you can work on your personality

3. Don't ever post pictures and say "omg im so ugly" because if you were, you wouldn't post them. Please put away the rod and reel cause your just fishing for compliments

4. Nobody cares about threats over the internet. Don't try to act hard with the keyboard...that's sad. unless you actually physically beat someone with the keyboard then thats ironically hilarious

5. If all your pictures look the same...don't post them all! Put some variety in your pics. Nobody wants to see your face 8 different ways. I don't care if its inverted, black and white, or faded out. a face is a face

6. Who really gives a rats ass if I don't accept you as a friend...MOVE ON. Don't send me another request or message asking "what's up?" I don't want you as a friend or I just don't care, that's what's up!

7. LITTLE 10, 11, 12, years old who have friendster and LOOK LIKE SLUTS, go somewhere else because NOBODY wants you here except pedophiles, and is that what you want. To be raped? No you don't so RUN RUN FAST!!

8. No one is really going to die in 6 days or have bad relationships for 5 years if they don't pass or post your bulletin on. So stop saying that!

9. If you have decided to read this, You are a true friend. Real friends read their bulletins.

10. It serves to eliminate people who are desperately trying to add "friends" like it's a popularity contest in high school. Good riddance!

Copy and repost at will -grin-

I must say that I am filled with pride whenever a foreign counterpart informs of the efficiency and pleasant experience at our very own Changi Airport.

However, since I live across the causeway, it makes me wonder what went wrong with the Immigration and Chekpoints Authority when negotiating the Woodlands Causeway and Tuas 2nd link everyday.

Tell anyone who frequents our neighbouring country via the road, that you were stuck in a jam from 7-11pm along the Tuas Second Link, and you will merely get a shake of the head, with some negativity or a violent upheaval of swear words with regards to the traffic.A typical scenario on a weeknight during the school holiday period would see a mile long jam before the checkpoint, of which only 1/2 the complex would be open with only 7-10 booths operating.

Immigration officers are efficient, and so were the folks at Customs who check my car for cigarettes, pirated VCDs and whatnot.

The big question here is - was the faulty planning of the Immigration and Checkpoints Authority (ICA) to blame for? How many people and cars could they expect to process, with only 10 booths open?I, like many others before me, called Mr Alan Lee from the Service Quality Department at ICA in early December, only to get the typical “It is the schoolholiday and the public should prepare for and expect a jam” response.
In comparison to Changi Airport, that lets thousands of passengers through every 15 minutes, it is my personal opinion in saying that security will be compromised should more booths be open.Like most Singaporeans and foreigners alike, the quality of life means a lot to the lot of us here.

It is shocking to realize that what used to be a big problem on the Malaysian side of checkpoint clearance, is now happening with the Singapore Checkpoint. Lets not even mention how much we have to pay to use the 2nd link.

Lets hope that things will change now that the media has put ICA under the spotlight.

A frustrated Amery

1st January

2006 started off all wrong...sigh...

1- One of my chummiest racing buddies died in a car crash. He had a really fast Nissan Skyline and lives in KL. He's usually responsible in handling its 750 or so horses under the bonnet. God knows what he was thinking. Apparently the police told us that it was a case of drunk driving. You think you know someone well, but when something like this happens, it really makes you question what he was thinking and what really went wrong, especially when he doesn't say anything to you before everything went down.

2- My Kitty lost her purse....dunno where she put! But hopefully it is in my car. Despite my going up to KL with 4 people squeezed into my back seat (yeah...believe it or not...FOUR) Maybe it just fell out from last night as I was sending her home. Oh well, I'll check during the daylight tomorrow.

3- My granny fell down and hit her head. AGAIN. Nothing surprising lah, but everytime she falls down, the Alzheimers like effect gets worse. I love my granny..darn...she was a magnificent woman during her day. So capable. AAAHHH.

Ok thats about it. I lumbered over to Waiyi's in the wee hours of this morning after sending the "cat" (hehe) home before going home as I haven't seen her in a long time. We were watching TV and talking halfway when her brother came home with his gf and they proceeded straight to their parents room without any small talk. Watching Waiyi go "ewww! my brother is having sex! my brother is having sex! EWW!!" was hilarious! hahaha

The number of new year's day accidents is just SCARY. REALLY SCARY. I passed a Mazda 3 that had its wheels missing and the whole undercarriage scraped on the road. Then, there were an assortment of Kancils (yes..again) scattered on the road on the way back along Jalan Skudai. Most of them were horribly banged out of shape. Well, what do you expect for a car that lifts off on one side when cornering? -shivers&cringes-

ok, again I say...Happy New Year guys :) Hope you had a better one than I did -smiles-

Happy new year!

Happy new year everyone!

Too many new year resolutions, too little time. That probably sounds so familiar to so many of you. For example, in 2006 I should:

1- Get my post graduate diploma for my piano (FRSM)
2- Work harder so I get that promotion soon
3- Save money in a proper bank (malaysian bank not counted...I refuse to change Ringgit to SGD)
4- Hit the gym and excercise more often to get into that shape
5- Keep my girl girl happy
6- Get my WRX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last night was funny though, I rushed over to my student's place after work only to find that no one was in! That stupid bugger kept me waiting for nearly an hour plus, and when he finally showed up, he told me it was too late for lessons. Needless to say he loves hearing me scream at him, and I only taught the sister in the end. I'm seriously worried....I hope he can cut it for the March exams.

Picked Kitty up afterwards, who always seems to be stuck in the shower everytime I call (tsk)
We nearly went bowling at Downtown East but it was so damn crowded..ARGH! STUPID NEW YEAR CROWD! Why can't you all disappear? -selfish whine- I should get everyone out for bowling soon man..speaking of which we dropped by Zouk to find Mr B spinning at Wine Bar. I met Waiyi and Fel after such a long time..It was good seeing them again. Talked to Waiyi for a bit, or what 5-10 minutes of catching up was worth. It does turn out that I miss hanging out with her, Fel, Brendon and gang (eh, what gang?)

Damn. Thought I'd never have to say that -puke- bwahahaha!

Btw, if you're thinking of catching a sappy sob fiction movie, go for the Chronicles of Narnia. It doesn't quite have the qualities of a sappy sobsville, but it comes close. Corny on the whole, with the whole 2nd Lord of the Rings war theme going on towards the ending, I must say the digital effects were badly rendered. You could tell it was so damn fake. However if you look at it from a different point of view, that is, with respect to the novel, one would probably understand why it was done that way; but it still was a tad fake -wry smile- On another note, Hollywood seems to be producing movies of inferior quality of late. Its quite hard to find a nicely done one nowadays. Maybe a new Mission Impossible would change my perceptions, another James Bon(tot) perhaps? I'm sticking to Japanese. The same goes for cars -grin-

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! :)

Important professional lessons learnt...

Wow, I spent two whole days lazing at home and pigging out at my granmother's place. I feel good. I haven't had this much rest in a loooong time. I have nothing much to write I guess.....most of that energy went into creating a really, ahem, biased article for a certain car dealership that I got into a misunderstanding with.

For certain reasons unknown, I shan't reveal names due to conflict of interest...

Basically it started from a sunny Tuesday morning a week ago, where myself, Nic and Chris went a'driving in a spanking new luxury car..

We were nicely greeted by the lovely sales executive and were promptly ushered to the car that was immaculately presented. We drove out of the showroom ready to put the car through it's paces. However on the AYE I noticed that the car's alignment started running towards the left and it was vibrating excessively. Pushing the car waaay beyond legal speeds however, I noticed that it disappeared. Dismissing this as bad wheel balancing and alignment, I brought the car to the Jalan Bahar/Lim Chu Kang farmway area for a trashing. It was a lovely car....really sleek, agile for such a BIG front drive luxury sedan, and we drew stares from everyone - from Banglas to Ang Mohs. Too bad there were traffic policemen along the 40 tiang stretch though...or I would've hit about 240km/h in that car...ohh the aldrenalin rush and speed......

Halfway through the testing, the car wouldn't brake in a straight line and its giant 18 inch wheels started loosing grip quite easily even out of sandy areas. I decided to give it a rest, let Nic take his turn at the wheel (he's ever so cautious and gentle at the wheel I must admit) and rest in the back seat.

We returned the car a few hours later feeling contented that we could write a great review.

Thursday morning:

Still in high spirits from the night before, I received a call from Chris while driving towards the office that I am in DEEP TROUBLE with that car dealer because I wrecked the undercarriage while test driving. I tried very hard to recall the whole day and to rethink as to whether a mini flying in the air stunt that I pulled caused it. It turned out to be a horrible day.

Fortunately when we met the guy at the car dealership on Friday, he hoisted up the car and showed us the damage. It appeared that someone actually mounted a steep hump or landed on one and that my landing on the flat road could not have caused any kind of damage in that respect.

It didn't help that we were also the last to take the car for a test drive, so naturally we were the major suspects.

However, in a huge effort to be political, all parties were given the benefit of the doubt, and the matter was dismissed as insurance was to cover the damage repairs totalling about $6Ks (in my opinion it was alot less money involved)

Lessons learnt:

1- ALWAYS check the car prior to the test drive
2- BRING BACK THE CAR to the dealer should you feel the slightest bit of unease with the car's performance or think something is wrong
3- Insist on an after test drive check complete with an indemnity form to your advantage when you're done in an effort to diminish any possible sabotage.

Ok, that aside, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!! and well.....happy new year real soon -grin-

Woah....

It's been a loooooooong time since I've blogged again...with the last thing i wrote being a month ago.

I've found a new job! I'm working at Hotstuff magazine as a writer for cars and car products. I have to admit that it is abit of a sellout in terms of advertisement, but everyone here does keep me awake at 10 in the morning which is a good thing.

New Year and Christmas is approaching and I haven't done any kind of christmas shopping (how about christmas chopping? -grin-) yet...nor do I see the need to, however with the advent of the uh "missus" i should probably get her something nice....-chokes- hahaha...oh ok i'll get her something nice -smiles sweetly- now I wonder if I should lace that up with sarcasm -turns the sweet smile into a wry-ish one-

My aunt took the unprecedented step of going off to Haji in Saudi Arabia, which was brave of her because she went on her own, leaving my poor mum to look after my equally poor granmother. Now she juggles a horribly large amount of housework (try 12 cats and a 3 storey house with a spoilt son like me...hahaha) and entertaining my forgetful grandma..aiaiaiaiai

Anyway, keep your eyeballs posted...I'd probably have more boring shit to write soon

more confu(se)cious..

Virgin just like balloon ... one prick, all gone.

Man who put cock in Peanut Butter jar is F***ing Nuts.

Man with tool in woman mouth May not necessarily be dentist.

Couple on 7-day honeymoon make hole weak.

Man who excels at putting worm on hook is Master Baiter

Schoolboy who play with schoolgirl during wrong period, get caught red-handed.

Man who go to bed with hard problem wake up with solution in hand.

Nail on board is not good as screw on bench.

Darren crashed his van.....

I don't know if I should laugh or cry, as I was trying VERY hard not to fall asleep at the wheel in the heavy rain as I drove home yesterday morning, and the minute I got home, I plonked myself down on the bed before receiving the divine order of sorts to, uh..shit.

Just as I sat down on the toilet bowl, I heard the phone ring. Too bad. Let me do my stuff on the bowl before I get back to you. Having that home line ring at 6am with only 3 people having my house number can only mean 1. Waiyi is bored/drunk/missing Amery (stifles laughter) 2. Tammy (since I call her from my home line anyway) 3. Darren needs to ask me something. So I called Waiyi back to receive the typical "Nah Bei Chee Bye call me at 6am for fuck?" response. NEXT - Messaged Tammy to see if she called to no reply. Then Darren called my cell, happily declaring that he totalled a taxi, two motorbikes and a PVC drainpipe (I gotta admit that the last one was funny)

So, despite being deprived of heavenly sleep admist the heavy rain, I plundered downstairs and climbed back into my car and braved the bitchy 6am morning crowd jam back into Singapore. when I finally got there, the van was already on the tow truck getting ready to be towed to Pioneer road north. ALL the way to the other end of the island -groan-

Darren was already complaining of pains in his left arm and head (don't take that to be "left head" ah)

I hate early-late morning traffic. Its terrible. Highways are jammed, people who are rushing to work refuse to give way to you, tailgaters on every lane in a desperate attempt to pressure the car in front of them to speed up, well, you get the general idea...

Anyway, Darren me and his mother (who was luxuriating in the plush opulence of the uh...many cushions in my back seat, courtesy of Darren's van shit...hahaha) braved the 7:30am traffic halfway across the island only to realise that we needed insurance documents that were at home, AT THE OTHER END OF THE ISLAND! It was funny though, and thank god I was able to stay awake courtesy of his mum's strong brew of coffee and a multitude of kopi-Os at the hawker centre throughout the day. We grabbed the documents, had a quick (well, I tried lah...but I think I still took pretty long with that nosebleed) shower and breakfast (Aunty makes excellent Kaya!) and we were off! Then I jumped into the car and realised that my mummy forgot to fill my petrol tank up as she borrowed my car the previous day and I do not have $SGD with me -SCREAMS- thankfully Darren's mum offered repeatedly to sponsor a full tank of petrol topping nearly $60 SGD - thats two full tanks in Malaysia. THANK YOU AUNTIE!!!! -kow tows repeatedly- I feel bad! Anyway, off to Pioneer Road North we went, again, more awake and alive this time, going to IDAC. There we met the bitchiest customer service officer (by now i'm sure this is anything but surprising) who couldn't get our accident testimonial right while having the chick to tell us that we kept giving her headaches, and when I showed my irritance, she showed us a black face and stormed around the office. Finally I insisted firmly that we filled the form out ourselves. WAKE UP IDAC STAFF! The people who come to you just suffered minor hardships for god sakes! The least you people could do is SMILE and say GOOD MORNING, are you alright? Have some fucking courtesy for god sakes; and to even think that they dub you receptionist types with glorious job titles like "customer service personnel" GEEZ, even 60 year old prostitutes (never tried one of those) give better service man!

Anyway, that was that. We stepped outside to discuss the typical contingency plan should a spanner come tumbling into the works, and we met a doofus of a driver, who obviously wasn't very bright with his bullshitting, driving a (sad to say) Hyundai Accent. His accident damage wasn't so bad. It was a dented fender, a hit and run case. He was quoted $800 to repair that shit. We tried hard not to laugh, because when I suffered a similar plight (doors AND fenders dented in) I was only charged RM150 to knock the doors back out and a further RM800 to respray the WHOLE car, sans booth and bonnet. Convert that to a measely SGD$420..with twice the amount of damage on my car..he should be paying no more than $SGD200 to fix everything up, even if it was done in Singapore. We tried hard not to slap his stupid face when he started bullshitting about how he knows so much about cars having owned a Nissan Skyline. HAH! NISSAN SKYLINE. Brudder, you're talking to someone who used to be passionate about that car, having owned one and taken it apart to bits, reassembling it from scratch with yummylicious (can't believe I used the word) parts. Yet this guy can't evem tell me what model he owned. Better still he doesn't even know what model he had. So much for your incessant crap dude. You deserved to be hit and run -evil grin-
We got quite irritated, so we just left him there and went off to the hospital to get Darren's minor abraisions and arm checked out at the A&E. Ooo..hot nurse sitting outside taking your temperature -grin- 90 minutes waiting time wasn't a good thing so we came back after lunch (again, THANK YOU AUNTIE!) after taking a queue number. I fell asleep in the parking lot while my Darren and his mum toughed it out in the waiting area at diagnostic radiology. (Read: X-RAY) Stress fracture on the arm and abrasions to the scalp. Not too shabby! -grin-

Off we went, back to the scene of crime only to discover that one of the two parked motorbikes that he went over, one was deregistered and another suffered minor damage. Everyone was very nice about the whole thing, and well, I can't reveal much details until we get the pictures up and everything's settled. We went down to do his glasses at the Paya Lebar Singpost place before I headed back IN MORE RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC at 8pm. This time, everybody anxious to get home. Finally, home sweet home at 10. I plonked on my bed and turned my phone off...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :)

oh...

Something clicked inside me this morning when i got up at 7am. I want to be a teacher. I am going to teach the English language, and quite possibly, music at O/A level to students of pre university level. Yep..JC. Of course it might just be one of those spur of the moment things so I guess I'll spend the better part of today talking to my old teachers and friends for advice. Why? I hear some of you say....

Lets just say that, at the tender age of 21, I've been around the block where my music is concerned. I have a passion for classical music, and the piano is something that I am going to live with for life. It is my source of stability and solace even when nothing else in my life is going right. It keeps me going. It is in my blood. I've earned millions out of it and despite not being able to earn that much anymore, I'm still happy because I've accomplished what I dreamed of as a kid - to play on stage in front of thousands and get recognised for it!

BUT lets face it - this is the 21st century. There are tons of pianists who are better than Amery out there. In fact, unless I plan to go MAD and tune myself to the stylings of Vladimir Horowitz or Glenn Gould, I cannot very well live my life doing a singular thing all the time right? Those who know me long would be surprised to hear this revised stand, but I guess I've learnt to change my stubborn views on self education in the tertiary stage.

Moving on...doing something else with my life while retaining (NOT archiving) the sweet past :)

http://blog.galvintan.com/numa.htm

I came across this.......

....and I couldn't help but choke on my food with laughter without even looking at the comic

BLIND(FOLD) DATE
For the benefit of non-Singaporeans,
the Social Development Unit (SDU) is an organisation
that brings professional singles together
to encourage marriages.

In the never-ending quest to tie more knots,
the SDU has come up with a new way to help members
break the ice... IN THE DARK:
they will start their dinner date blindfolded in a
darkened restaurant, with romantic music playing
in the background.

The blindfold comes off as the
three-course dinner progresses,
and the lights are turned up at the end.
Let's see how it goes...

psychoings of the day-

Depression is a state of mind, not a clinical condition. Even if you're bipolar, at least try to think this way lah hor? -grin-

8am

I got up at 10pm last night after a wholesome 12 hour nap to make up for the busy week. I feel like I'm on American time, especially after talking to a few friends from USA and Europe on MSN. Time to call Cliff to see if he's available for a piano lesson today. I swear I'm getting greedy with the mullah. The more I have in my bank account, the more I want to feed it. That is supposed to be a good thing right? However I don't want to fall into the "stingy person" category, so please give me a hard kick in the arse if I ever appear to be like one in front of you. I get to visit the gym and then Sentosa with Val today! I'm so white and hairy, it's gross. I need a tan, asap! Then I'll be nice and roasted in time for the 22nd november performance in KL. No I am not stripping for anyone you numbnuts. This is Amery at his vainest. One more thing - I need a haircut -grin-

I was thinking.....

I don't know how true this is, but I was on a cruise through the western
Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner a few months ago. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining
room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys,
etc, all of them seemed to be very familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who she was, expecting to be told that she owned the line,but he said he only
knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back.

As we left the dining room, I caught her eye, we smiled at each other and stopped to say "Hello". We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for
the last four cruises". She replied, "Yes, that's true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home"

So, I was thinking, simple, logical deduction for the non-seasickies out there, the existence of a nursing home will cease to be a necessity for the old and feeble in my future. When I transcend my sexagenarian/octo years (depends on how lucky I am and whether the smoke and alcohol I ingest in my daily diet is going to get to me) I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5 They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia? YOU NAME IT!

Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship!!

-----------------------

P/S And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge -grin-

This blog has been unusually bimbotic

Anyone of you who dares to think that this is normal Amery ought to shoot yourselves in the arse, but as I read blog after senseless blog over the internet, I often wonder, do these people really mean or feel what they type, or are they hiding back so much more? It would be a shameless self indulgent crime to bare your innermost feelings on the public domain, however even if you don't, I guess what we share here will forever be surface-tension entries.

Driving the usual drive back home from Singapore to my "children who lived in the old shoe" home across the causeway made me think about lots of things that have been going on in my life right now, how personal relationships on both soulmate and friendship levels have been over the past few years, and my wants and needs right now. Its amazing how you can sort yourself out just like that -snaps fingers- should you give yourself a wee bit more time and space. I've been left alone lately, devoid of Waiyi (thank you Ezra?) and Daniel (Canada) the two people who have constantly been drilling facts into my life and setting me straight in times of confusion, yet everything seems to have been sorted out in an acceptable fashion, more or less. Money isn't a problem anymore, my relationships with friends are at an all time high, my music, although slow, is coming from a positive, constructive and yet still creative and original point of view, and of course, I've finally gotten over Huipeng long ago and my hatred for that bitch who came into my life right after Peng broke up with me who fucked my brain, sex life AND emotional state of wellbeing upside down, left and right, inside out (and perhaps diagonally as well?). Really, thanks alot for infiltrating my then vulnerable state of mind with your wholehearted philosophies, teachings and brandishings (although I know you meant well, I find it hard to appreciate what can be classified as self detrimental to others as not all poisons work well with all meats), making me mentally depressed again during that hellish period of July 04-June 05. I guess I've learnt a really important lesson over the past year from this, and that is, you've taught and made known to me what I DO NOT WANT in a girlfriend. I appreciate the fact that you have really. Btw, I still owe you a vocal lesson but I'm going to have to upp the charges and cancel that out since I've gotten hold of my Licentiate diploma in Voice right now -smug smile- LELONG LELONG! Piano or voice lessons anyone? -grin- Anyways Peng, if by some wierd twist you stumble upon this blog and are reading this, I hope we could still be friends as you are a great person inside out :D

Aside from the occasional bragging that stems from happiness out of my relationships, I'm not one to say much about these things and this is as public as I would go, dedicated to those of you whom I have been out of contact with for so long. Its been a while.

Perhaps I could next form a psuedo-Trafalgars Square speakers' corner here since I'm Malaysian based, for the benefit of sore Mari Kita-ians seeking to bad mouth the gah-ment.

It's 11am and I ought to get some sleep, or I won't be able to attend yet another post-Hari Raya party. Poor Rohai... :D

Amery has not slept in 36 hours.

Lets see.....

I came back at 4am yesterday morning, woke up 3 hours later, drove into Singapore at 8 to fetch the VIPs from the airport. Then started my usual day of teaching. My students are driving me up the wall. First, that proverbial rebellious 16 year old teenager did not practise at all despite the upcoming Grade 5 practical exams in March. Its a wonder how they keep saying that they'll practise over a period of 1 year and you're still stuck at square one at the end of it all. Today was the last straw. I was cranky and with all that lack of sleep, I lost it and started SCREAMING at him. By the time I was done "venting", neither of us wanted to touch the piano keyboard. It was horrible. A teacher and mentor should never loose his cool no matter how bad his student is. I feel bad...

IT wasn't any better in the evening when I sent my car back for servicing. The mechanic was obviously high on weed when he grabbed power steering fluid to top my engine oil up. Good thing I was there, watching him. You know, I should've watched him longer because he also forgot to top my radiator cooling system off with antifreeze. As a result, the car started overheating in the causeway jam, giving me a helluva inconvenient time calling everyone up, asking who was free to get me a can of coolant and LOTS of water. Of course, I was REALLY REALLY late for all my appoinments. Later that night, the Getz overheated again along Changi Coastal road whilst we were convoying towards the SAF Yacht Club. I must say, everyone was awfully helpful. Thank you guys! I appreciate it :D

I met Waiyi and Felicia for a quick supper of Teo Chew porridge behind Zouk, and that BLUR FUCK did NOT tell me she wanted to go home..TO EZRAS at YISHUN -SCREAMS- Waiyi, if you are reading this...your home is in BUKIT TIMAH and not YISUN, and I would have said NO because I was going to go back to Zouk again afterwards. But I still love you anyways BRUDDER -sniggers- -poke poke poke- hahaha

Anyway, it was an EPIC rush from Yishun down to Zouk. I took 10 minutes. Going at 160km/h on the SLE/CTE where I was previously caught speeding WHILE talking on the mobile phone with Brendon; I really really hope there weren't any speed cameras. I've been really bad on the road recently....

I picked up Val and we went BACK to Changi Village for prata as I had to make a point to her as to how good the prata was. Darren and Celeste eloped from Changi Airport earlier than expected; god knows what they were up to -grin-

Surprisingly it started to rain and hence it unleased the wussy in me when it came to running back to the car. As most of you know I'm super scared of lightning because of a few close encounters. I love jogging and cycling in the rain, but god damn, why did he create lightning in the first place? Ok you can't have clouds rolling 35,000 feet above the ground and not have enormous static electricity develop lah. Perhaps these clouds should move higher above the stratosphere to reduce the chance of static discharge (ie, LIGHTNING) Ok i'm talking nonsense. I should get some sleep....got a hari raya party to attend to in a few hours time -groan-

You might be a good driver but........

how sure are you that the drivers of vehicles around you are as well?

This accident happened on one of those narrow malaysian plantation roads when the smashed up proton wira tried to overtake a lorry. At the SAME TIME, the lorry driver, being a fucked up arsehole and idiot (i hope he'll eternally rot in hell for being a simple ignoramus of a driver) decided to abruptly SWING OUT onto the oncoming lane just like the Wira did to overtake that slower moving vehicle in front of him and hence, there was a competition of space for TWO cars and ONE BIG LORRY abreast of each other on a small narrow road with only two opposite travelling lanes. The Wira was forced onto the side of the road where gravel was abound, thus, loosing traction. The result.....

BEFORE

AFTER


The driver escaped unharmed because:

1- HE WAS WEARING HIS SEATBELT
2- The tinted window film prevented the glass from shattering (GO TINT YOUR WINDOWS NOW)

It was a horribly lazy Thursday.....

I winced my first wince at 5 in the evening, hustled myself down to Singapore only to realise that I didn't slot Mr XXXX's performing license for the Friday evening concert. After 4 whole hours of wrestling and rushing here and there, I finally got it done with the help of the DSP. Thank you sir!!!! Ling was really upset that I was 2 hours late though. Poor girl - she had the blackest face when I picked her up. Val wasn't so glum though. Her tatooes are a huge turn on -raises an eyebrow- I don't know her very well, but I think that she's a really sweet person -smiles- ANYWAY, I should really get mine back. In case you've forgotten, THIS IS HOW IT LOOKS LIKE....




Due to military reasons unknown, I had it lasered off at their command but since i'm not in any of that shit anymore, I was planning to make a comeback with black ink -grin- I would probably need to work out or it'll look horrible on my uh, horribly flabby physique...

Darren and me brought both Valerie and Ling to "Nanyang Gudang" tonight and pretty much trashed both my car and the van.I was practically speeding through NTU without traction past a platoon of amused Army dudes (They probably thought we were so lame) I'm surprised the girls didn't throw up. Maybe we should have driven THAT much harder.....aiii....what do you expect...small powderful (no power) car...would have gone slower if i saw these accident photos first though...-grin-


Again I ask myself - WHY AM I BLOGGING? This is a desperate attempt to up my command of English (formerly my only REAL strong language) I've realised of late that I cannot even spell anymore. Thats really sad...now....how do we publish emoticons on this thing? -grin-

cars cars cars and more cars..........

I don't know what has gotten into me of late, but all I can think of are CARS!!!!!!

I'm feeling deprived...

NO FOOD....nevermind

NO SLEEP...nevermind

NO SEX....nevermind

NO GIRLFRIEND....nevermind

NO PIANO....nevermind

NO RACING CAR....AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gone are the good old days when I had the Mines GTR V-spec NUR Nissan Skyline. It was everything I wanted in a car, and it got me through the thick and thin on the track, street, the Blue mountains and interstate gang racing shit. However, it started costing too much to maintain so I had no choice but to part with it. I remember the last night I had with that car - I was half tearing trying to break my 1/4 mile and time attack record for the last time on that familiar speedway in solitude. Watching that new owner drive my baby away..that glorious exhaust note gradually decreasing in volume and pitch; with the car disappearing over the horizon, was one of the most painful moments of my life. wah so dramatic......PUI!

Its been so long since I had my rounds in that beauty of a beast (yep, pretty [and] FAST performance vehicles are such oxymorons)

See whot I mean?




That thing is a FAR CRY from what I'm driving now (My 1300cc Hyundai Getz)
I mean, I've done a gazillion things imaginable to the poor car that resulted in too many attempts to succesfully cheat the warranty claim procedures at the Hyundai workshop. I won't even start on what I've done. All I can say is, never ever think of popping an Audi Turbo engine into a Korean car, let alone turbocharge the stock internals, and with NOS. Uh oh....I'm starting with the whole racing shit again.........

You have been warned....if you girls post all your fashion fads online, then I don't see why I can't take pride in my own, shallow materialistic possesions, well, what used to be of them that is -sheepish grin-

Having said that, a car, no matter if it's a Ferrari or Porsche, is still a car at the end of the day, and it can NOT replace the warmth and love of your loved one. Thus, I get really irked seeing owners of prized possesions take the role of "husband" in their so called "(wo)man-car" relationship. Example - "Hey! I shall pick you up at 8pm with my wife!" and when your friend actually arrives, he proceeds to explain to you the absenece of his significant other and how he takes pride in his mechanical spouse that has 4 wheels and a polished chrome exhaust pipe tip for an arsehole. The numbers are ever so increasing these days. In fact, we should come out with a new term for these exhaust pipe fucking individuals - MECH-O-SEXUAL. I mean, there's the ongoing metrosexual trend what...-smug smile-

Anyway, I really do hope I get the job at Hotstuff magazine as an assitant editor so as to fund my ever increasing hunger for a Hybrid retro racing car. What the hell am I talking about? You'll see in the near future. In the words and tone of "Under One Roof's DOLLY (played by Koh Cheng Mun)," SOOOO EXCITING!!!!!!!! Perhaps I could one day clinch the "Lepak" class of the malaysian racing scene again like how it was in Sydney. Ahh the memmories.....-sweet smile on my face-

Please excuse my use of Singlish in my last few posts, and perhaps the coming ones as well

I realised that a few of you reading this aren't from here anyway. Sorry ah mui! hehe

Happy birthday to me (License) again......

Hah....and today, is the 4th of november. TODAY, I get to THROW my P plates out the window (again -shrugs-) having held my driving license for A YEAR..again..-shrugs yet again- Although I've really been driving since I was 16. Thats 5 whole years. Where does the time fly to?

I swore to myself on the 4th november last year that this would be the absolute LAST time I would get my license revoked and take any kind of driving test EVER. I've been foolish enough in my younger days (chey, I talk like I'm such an old pervert like that hor?) Amongst the goulish things I've done...

-Driven DRUNK
-Driven whilst high on drugs
-Driven whilst having sex (YAH. Possible. Don't look at me like that)
-Raced illegaly
-Driving past and egging expensive cars
-Flipped a car upside down
-Driven a seriously overloaded Mercedes C-Class with 12 people in it

Ok I really cannot remember. But some things I'm not proud that i've done. Then again if I never really did them, I can't say that I would know how it felt, plus I always learn the hard way. I wish it was otherwise. God must be looking down on me smiling as I think him that I do not have a criminal record or killed anyone with my hellish shennanigans (did I spell that word correctly?)

In case you were wondering WHY this 2nd Singapore registered car is 2 days older than my License, well, lets just take a look at the conversation that took place after I drove home from the driving test centre:

Mum: "So early, where did you go?"

Me: "I went to Ubi to take my driving test lah"

Mum: "Oh, how did you go?"

Me: "I drove there"

Mum: "YOU WHAT?"

Me: "It's ok I got my license already. SEE? hehehe -that cheekish smile on my face-"

Mum: "So how if you fail? You stupid boy"

Me: "I've been driving for 5 years mum, if I fail, I'll just drive my car off the Cliff and you get get my life insurance"

Ok that last line i made up. I just kept quiet and smiled at her in the end :D

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!!!!

Nah Bei Chee Bye....I got a fine from the TP - 4 DEMERIT POINTS for crossing double white lines on the road...AAAAAARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! That leaves me with 8 more demerit points to last me till uhmm...TOMORROW! hehehe. Then, I'll have another 20 more demerit points to spare since my P plates come off. Heng....

btw, Hari Raya with the family was good this year. Abang Chal came down with his NEW WIFE whom we were not even invited to the wedding. What the fuck....after 2 years you disappear and then suddenly you're married to another woman, and you expect the family to accept her just like that. You're downright crazy bro. But it was good catching up with him. She's a sweet woman too :) I just wished he would have told me about her first before making a surprise appearance. Good talking to him too!

It was a mad rush in the jam to fetch the guys from Singapore to come over for Hari Raya dinner. The jam was SO BAD, I fell asleep in it which led to an embarassing amount of people horning at me and a customs officer knocking on my window to check if the carbon monoxide coming from my vehicle had taken its effect on me, but it was worth everything as the food was fantastic. No doubt about that. Just once a year...now to catch up on some much needed shuteye

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Happy birthday to me (Car)

Today is the 2nd of november.

My car turns one year old. Already 50,000km! I was being all absent minded driving home singing happy birthday in the car and patting the steering wheel like it was some sort of pet, but being a Korean car, this Hyundai Getz did an amazing job of holding itself together despite the shit I threw at it over the past year:

- 5 Track Sessions at Pasir Gudang
- Numerous failed attempts to succesfully DRIFT the car through more than 2 corners (The most I ever got out of it was one roundabout and a donut) and thus fucking the alignment up.
- Teaching my best friend and ex girlfriend how to drive in it.
- Aftermarket Engine Swap (Audi 1.8Turbo detuned to 150horsies) Waiyi if you're reading this, don't even get me started on PONY POWER -GRRRRRRRRRR-
- Drive shaft swap and transmission overhaul due to engine swap stress
- Fortnightly drives UP and DOWN Kuala Lumpur AND Penang - 180km/h in 3rd gear @ 5500rpm all the way...
- TWO PHUKET TRIPS
- I won't even start with the passengers side chair and back seats -dirty grin- hahaha!~

God knows what else I did to this poor car.....I CAN'T REMEMBER!

Anyway, it's been a really good car. Strong and steady, though abit of a slow poke. For those of you who think that Hyundai produces shit cars, I urge you to reconsider. Visit www.getzclub.com or www.getzgarage.com and you'll be in for a pleasant surprise. Not that i'm going to promote my car club, but yeah, it's a good car. More than enough for the unmarried bachelor who keeps his monster track car at home while needing reliable fuel efficient transport daily like me.

So for it's birthday present, I swapped bumpers and installed horribly bright Hella foglamps for my frequent excursions up north...


It's still ugly in it's raw form but after some further moulding and painting, it should look like a dream. If only I have the time to send it into the spray painters shop -groan- BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dee came down from Sydney!

I have not seen her in ages. That darling of a girl bought so many packets of Tim Tam classic/double choc and tia maria for me that I'm still rolling about in it happily like a PIG right now -broad grin on my face- Darn she lost some weight. Apparently someone's been getting more sex than me....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

Too bad I couldn't meet her for more as I was having a very busy week taking care of my sick mother and dealing with grumpy old Russian musicians. For those who know what I'm talking about, they're like the cockroach in your masala dosai. GROSS!

4 more days till Nin comes from Jakarta...-taps my foot impatiently-

According to my friend's taxi driver dad..

A woman and her ten-year-old son were riding in a cab in Vladivostok

It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.

"Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"

"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.

The cabbie turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him
the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money."

The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, Mom?"

His mother, glaring hard at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative.

After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mom, what happens to the babies
those women have?"

"Most of them become cab drivers," she said.

ok this is for the guys.....

How many times have you had THIS happen to you?


BE HONEST!

I was late for my flight. Therefore............

it's a wonder how i still have my license -chuckles-

The rantings of a professional philosopher....

I quote a great friend's words at 3am in the morning - "Confuse-cious say... ***corny chinese accent*** man who stand on toilet bowl....HIGH ON POT!"

Boring day today...I woke up at 3, conveniently FORGOT that I was supposed to meet a friend to tune his car audio and accompany him to change the oil on his shocks and meet a friend for lunch. I fetched Josh from his place in Taman U and we headed down to Singapore as per normal with a rather nasty stop at the Caltex station.....our "reset fuel pump to $0.000" trick didn't work this time and we got caught -sob- no more free petrol for me :'( ironic how some old women tend to be so dramatic though.....that pump attendant whom we had a clash with should really enroll for a worldwide broadway touring schedule...she deserves it -grin-

I met J.P after disappearing for so long...it was good to see her again I guess, and we spent a good 2 hours drinking (well at least she did..haha) and stoning our fatigued souls/bodies to heaven and hell at Changi Village....brings new definition to the term "wasting away"

There was no good movie on today, with the exception of last night's 40 year old virgin being really funny at the expense of being mindless....WHAT WAS THAT LAST PART ABOUT though??????? What we saw was the classic turnaround of Hollywood-meets-Aishwarya Rai-syndrome (is that how you even spell her name?)

Dang...BE WITH ME isn't showing already.....thanks to SOME idiot who CONVENIENTLY FORGOT about watching it with me HOR? Wait till I forward this blog addy to you.....-grumbles- heh heh....

The proverbial first post......after many other posts

I feel like a blog virgin all over again......it's been ages since I've blogged, but I'm doing it again anyway, mainly to pass the time whilst recording arduously from 9pm-5am in the morning.

More to come....photos of my poor car....some fucker driving a BAS KILANG whammed into the front right section above the tire...thank god the engine was left untouched...this is going to cost me at least $160 more to repair...so much for replacing my front bumper -groans-

cheerios!

Happy birthday to WAiYI!!!!!!!

Waiyi's Birthday! (8th September) As written on Darren's Blog as well,


phew! The big day has finally passed after all the planning and conning.. hahaha..

Basically, 3 guys came together and decided to come up with some plan for Waiyi's birthday. (Being the little brat she is. :X) We decided to make the day as BAD as possible for her. *Hiakz*

Part 1: Brendon. Leaving for KL for a gig on the day of her birthday.
Part 2: Charleen and I quarrelled, Leen not appearing for her birthday.
Part 3: Unable to get her favorite Lana chocolate cake due to miscommunication.
Part 4: Bringing her to Sentosa (which she doesn't like) to celebrate her birthday.
Part 5: Josh had last minute appointments and he couldn't make it.
Part 6: Xiaowei was out of the country at the last minute.

How would you feel if that happened on your birthday? Hahahaha.. she was in the pits man.. :P

When Darren and I finally picked her up on her birthday, we blindfolded her and made 'loud' comments on how we were going.. leading Waiyi to think we were really going Sentosa for her birthday. Hahaha. The final celebration was held at Costa Sands (Downtown East) at a Chalet. Of course.. None of the above happen. It was all ONE BIG CONSPIRACY, and Waiyi was sooooo suckered into it. HAHAHA. It was fun. :D

We led her into the room at the chalet blindfolded, with tealights placed all around the room. She was soooooooooooooooooooo thrilled to see everybody could make it afterall, and not to mention her favorite Lana Chocolate cake sitting in front of her very eyes. :)

But the big surprise was yet to come. Me, Brendon and Josh gave Waiyi a pot of 'Venus Fly Traps'. I was sooo amused by it! It was real! And it had flies in there (eaten of course). hAHahAHa.. Fascinated was the word to describe my feelings when I first saw it.. Really wanted one.. though I think it would actually perish under my care. :X

The big surprise, came when we presented Waiyi with her present. The day before, Darren accompanied Waiyi down to Sheares (A military shop along Beach Road) to take a look at some knives, and a 490 dollar torch. (I never believed one existed till I saw it. haha.) Waiyi fell in love with this knife called the 'Seal Pup', supposedly used by the US NAVY SEALS themselves. It was a gorgeous blade, teflon coated (the stuff non-stick pans are made of).

I decided to get the knife for her, and split the cost among everybody. At least that is something she really liked. hahaha.. was worth the buy. I never seen a more energetic bubble bouncing up and down the room when she saw the box with the imprints 'SOG'. She was like: "IT'S NOT A SEAL PUP! IT'S NOT A SEAL PUP!!"

Funny thing bout women. When she opened the box, "OH MY GOD IT'S A SEAL PUP! OH MY GOD IT'S A SEAL PUP!"

Oh well. :X

We had a BBQ and all after that and it was a really great night to remember, and for Waiyi, she was really really happy and touched and energetic and all bout the whole night. Hahaha.

Guys, Mission Accomplished. :)

Signing out from Macdonalds at Downtown East. Hee. :P